Dear neighbours...

I take absolutely NO RESPONSIBILITY for what you see through my window.

Your eyes are protected by the hedge around the garden. If you decide to prune a hole through the wondrous foliage of my hedge in order to see my dogs and one of your friends catches not only a glimpse, but a whole eye-full of me in my natural element, then you my dog-loving neighbour will be at fault.

I refuse to put netting up as I like my view as it is. Without my glasses, I'd rather see green and blue than white and grey.
If you have an issue with this, then please cut your hole in another location.

The ONLY time that I close my curtains is when I know people are walking in my garden. If you have climbed over the wall to fetch the ball, please make a call ("hello?") before passing by my window - so my dogs are allerted to your presense and bark wildly at the new target to slobber...

Have a pleasant day,
Your neighbour

ps. I intend to install motion detectors and pepper-spray dispensers by each new hole I spot

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Goodbye World