Why am I still at church?

Good question,

I have memorised the programming sequence for adding and removing users, changing access codes, resetting tamper alerts, all for a supa dupa alarm system..
I needed to find out what users' access codes were - I feel I am really trusted at the church...the page with the codes on is gonna burn!!

Today the alarm is up and running - today I opened many doors and pushed loads of buttons..

Last-night..or was it lastnight? - whenever it was, I got so fustrated about my memory. Yes, I can remembre most things if I remember to remember them, but for the other things, I have no recollection of various things..
If there is one thing I know I stuffed up when I attempted suicide, it is my memory - I really doubt that the lady who tested my memory was doing a propper job - she kept playing pc games with me...

As seen with the frequency of these blog entries, I forget easily - time is not an issue, sure it has been an excuse I've used, but time is wasted when I forget what to do..I sometimes feel like an old man in a 24yr old body.
So I'm admitting something that's hard for me to do: I forget most things. Even if I write them down, I'll forget to look in my diary.. or, and this is the worst, I'll want to write something down, but once I get the pen to paper (even if it takes 20 seconds), I totally forget. If you say this happens to you..how often does it happen to you? once a day or more? once a week or more? once a month or more? I cant tell you how often it happens, as just as you guessed it, I forgot. no, I'm kidding - this sort of thing happens most days, and not just once, but many times that day depending on what I do that day.

I even forget to eat - yesterday, I ate breakfast at lunch, supper at supper, and lunch at midnight.
Supa sad, but I've been living this mess without mentioning it - I now know that this mess is preventing me from doing other things. The only way I know how to deal with the situation, is to bring it out in the open. I have wanted to do this many times in the past, but I have forgotten to do so, because I just forget..

FUSTRATING!!!
I have been typing since 16:00 - I'm slow because I forget.
I dont participate because I forget what I'm going to say, or do, or even what they are discussing.
Give me something a robot can do or something that has a manual or is electronic, and I'll excel..anything else and I'll take some time getting around some obstacles and then do my best - but please, if I forget...I FORGET, OK?!!!

Anyway, my Mom called and I must get some grub before I go to cell tonight.
SMiLE
ps. I dont really know why I'm still at church........