Being far from the one true thing...

ok, I did not know what to make the subject, so it's quite random!?!

I believe I'm going through a dry patch when it comes to God. The season of winter. I learnt of this at a SU camp - not sure if this is fact or fiction, but I intent finding out.
I dont see the point in everyday living if I cant spend time with God. I want to spend the time. I have cried about it. I have slept on it. I have forgotten about it. I have been told that the work of God is far more important to complete than spending quality time with God. I know they didnt say it in so many words, but basically, if I have work to do and I'm at the office, I have to complete that work.

This is my special place to vent without the person listening or reading stopping me and me forgetting what I'm saying...

Fair enough, yes, that's true. And then there's the time when I have absolutely bugger-all to do. What should I do? Go to a quiet place to study God's Word?
That is a grand idea, but when people start missing me in the office, and then start asking where I am.....
"Malcs is in the gardens..." -->> Then they think why is Malcolm not doing what he is meant to be doing, working?
"Malcs is spending time with God..." -->> Then they think, 'wow, Malcs is really devoted, but he must remember he has lots of work to do...'

WHERE do I draw the line?
but when we're pranking and not working, that's cool?? IS it?!

The I remember that the master of lies is working in my life - I'll call him, Master from here on.
Master has ruled my life since I learnt the truth about why I'm here, what I'm supposed to do.
Master did not care when I sat at home all day, never going to church, feasting on perversions, etc.
WHY? What makes me say all this?

Simple, I'm sick of listening to the small voice inside that keeps saying NO, dont do it. It's not a good idea to go outside and pray. It's better to stay indoors, warm, distracted.
You have work to do, you cant go on your lunch break just yet. This work is for the greater picture...(even though I'm turning you into a worthless person by tricking you into not spending time with God, not eating, staying up late at night, not brushing your teeth, not remembering what you were gonna put here, etc.).

!!!!!STOP!!!!!

I am Malcolm. I have a choice whether to listen to myself or not. I choose to listen to God and my elders. I will not listen to myself.
I will put my trust in God. Whatever happens, I will go according to what others say. If they are younger that myself, or not a chosen elder, then I wont listen.
WHATEVER...
think what you will.

I now have nothing to do till my bedtime of 10pm - what will I do?
I have several choices:

• Play peggle - challenge myself to master a challenge
• Browse youtube
• Sit on IRC and idle - I'm real good at it as that's what I used to waste my life with
• Clean up the room I'm sitting in
• Read my Bible - I can choose out of a few translations
• Lie on my bed and just sleep
• Fix my cd/mp3 player
• Mess around with Google

What will I choose?

Could I listen to that voice just ONE more time?

I last played my keyboard for Sunday School many years ago, and one of my favourite songs to get the children to sing was,
"Read your Bible, Pray everyday and you'll Grow, Grow, Grow." "Dont read your Bible, Forget to pray and you'll Shrink, Shrink, Shink."




Go figurE