I'm happy again

I have this all kinda worked out now. I am a complex person that even I don't fully understand yet.

It's not like I have a major secret or anything, but I have an issue in life that has been very difficult to understand and to deal with. When I was young, all was bright and spunky. I didnt know what emotions were. I lived out life without the concept of emotion.

As I grew up, I began to understand emotion. I learnt that emotion played a big role in human life. I'm not sure I even understand how it happened, but somehow I started feeding off emotions without even knowing. Know the Sixth Sense? Cole says to the dead guy, "I see dead people."? Well I see others' emotion. It's not as easy to explain as in Cole's case of seeing dead people.

I hate eve's dropping - if that's not how one spells it out in writing, then it looks like I dont like lady Eve's poo...
Seriously now, listening on others' conversations is not my cup of coffee (I know the saying is a cup of tea, but I dont dig tea - though I'll drink it if I have to). I see/feel the emotions in whatever people around me say. It's really confusing at times, but in most cases I smile and then the mommy stares at me as though I was listening in.
Guess I dont like being seen at funerals. If I'm gonna be there, I tend to hide myself on the inside.

This last week people in the office were stressful, grumpy, moody and just neutral.
When Friday came, I was a real confused individual. Birthdays are meant to be joyous celebrations of one's life. By Friday all my happiness had been drained from me. I knew I had to be super glad that I was born 25 years ago, but that's not how I felt.

Hey, not even I fully understand why all this happens. It is just one of those things life throws at you and now I'm learning to cope with it.

I'd like to thank the Ignite guys for Thursday. I saw Speed Racer. In language, school or varsity, poetry has hidden meaning - I cant locate that hidden stuff. In movies, it is the same. I dont care what you thought of the movie, or what you think of what I'm about to type. I saw a meaning in that movie. NEVER GIVE UP.

On Summer Camp 2007, I got a message from God. It was a very personal message that only makes sense now. "You are not alone...don't never give up."
"'All your issues are like the knives that are used to mould you into shape' - They remove all your troubles." They cut away the things in your life that should not be there.

WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING?
i'm not sure, but it makes sense for me at least..!

I thort we were all emo. That there were two sides to emo, but most people tend to sit in the middle. In the middle of self and others.
I wont say more - work it out for yourself. I'm not in the middle, nor am I on the self side....

people go to church. people that dont and look in think that people who do go are happy. if you are a people that think such, all i know is that people are happy if they are with Jesus who they Trust and Obey. i've tried the other way - it doesnt work.
Experience the love. Experience the full power of love when you trust and obey Jesus.

HEY MISTER!
me?
YES YOU. WHAT THE 'ELL?
you know what?
WHAT?!!
i'm happy.


ps. If you think I have a problem, tell me what it is, so we can try sort it out..